"Do what you love." In January 2006, just a few months after I finished school, Paul Graham wrote an essay titled "[How to Do What You Love](https://paulgraham.com/love.html)". It would have been perfect timing if I had read that essay at that time, but this is not how this story goes. I studied computer science, became a tech journalist for a few years, learned many things about marketing technology in a web agency, and ended up building a martech solution for more than a decade. And then I read that essay. "I love software" is how I answer the question that is implied by the statement "Do what you love". At least this is how I answer it today. At some point in my career I asked myself what the hell I'm doing, and why. It's like waking up from a dream, disengaging the autopilot, only to realize that you have no idea where you are, how you ended up here, and where you are going. Luckily for me, my inner compass was subconsciously guiding me the entire time, pointing towards what I love. I was always passionate about software, even as a kid, sitting in the basement of my parents' house with my PC, playing with the latest (beta) version of whatever was the hottest software in those days (beta testing was so much more fun when companies had to mail CDs to you, with fancy packaging, thanking you for your effort). That passion drove me towards writing about software for many years, it drove me towards studying computer science, and it guided me towards taking jobs that had some element of "do what you love". *"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."* (Søren Kierkegaard) Only in retrospect did I realize I was following my passion the entire time. Living that life until this point surely didn’t feel like I was doing what I love all the time. In his essay, Graham mentions multiple tests that you can apply to figure out if you are on the right track. >As a lower bound, you have to like your work more than any unproductive pleasure. You have to like what you do enough that the concept of "spare time" seems mistaken. Which is not to say you have to spend all your time working. You can only work so much before you get tired and start to screw up. Then you want to do something else — even something mindless. But you don't regard this time as the prize and the time you spend working as the pain you endure to earn it. *Finding the concept of spare time mistaken.* For me, that's a good indicator for how much I love what I'm currently doing. There is a spectrum to it. For example, I like building product roadmaps. But do I love it that much that I would spend all my time doing it? Definitely not. Figuring out how to solve a specific product problem though - defining the scope of the solution within technical possibilities and aligning it with business requirements - I could literally do this all day long. The harder the problem, the more I have to learn and figure out how to solve it, the more I will enjoy it. I also learned what I don't like doing, as if there was a force constantly pulling me towards it. "To do something well you have to like it", Graham writes. I surely did like what I was doing, so I got promoted. Again and again. I was proud of my accomplishments, I liked the money that came with those promotions, and the small amount of fame. But since I didn't read that essay from Graham early in my career, no one warned me about the sirens. >Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you'd like to like. It's one of the truths I had to learn the hard way. If you aim for the next promotion, more money, more fame, you lose sight of what you like doing. For me, I completely forgot about my love for software and the work that allowed me to express that passion. I was on a path that made me feel miserable, and that path lead me into crisis. All the joy was gone, and I felt lost not knowing what will bring it back. All of the sudden, the autopilot disengaged and I had no idea what to do anymore. >Don't waste your suffering. When we're suffering, there's something to learn. Joseph Goldstein said this in a conversation with Sam Harris. For me, that "something" was re-learning what I love doing. I had to rediscover my passion for software, for all the nerdy stuff that I like doing. After two years I found my way back on my happy path - "I love software" is the answer that brought me back to it. I'm currently spending my time building software, leading a team of product managers, UX designers, and technical writers. Every day I'm allowed to spend time with brilliant people who feel equally passionate about software. I love software. And I'm expressing it my way, not based on a song the sirens are singing.